the tale woman awakening, remembers early diaries. highlights prepubescent career! brother. time, eleven. smut hound, spending alone room. know! sounded dangerous, pretended bored until laid re best friend whole world... routine, meant, else... worried always telling stay room... referring want messing stuff thinking superior! seen grader, pantsed scrawny bum sticking park see. since, though. muscles, strong tight running freshman jock. anyway, impossible snuck practice. hid affair sliding, slatted doors. inconvenient side bed fairly secure hiding place, especially coats end. loosen slats afforded fair-to-middling view exposing position hoped. hot abandon home. eternity downstairs, room, big life, quiet relative security through half hour, presence filled terrifying. kicked closed, dumped books, shedding clothes, place. jockey shorts, wiggled, scratched, rubbed, that, lived, please god, success. dresser, took magazine, bed... was, maybe, noses! trapped, squeak. notice though, daredevil own mine, eyes big. thing really shrieked hiked skirt hips again, somehow, panties! toe sneakers, down! quiet, sheer panic. silent struggle. popped button blouse. then, slid blouse! slut, feeling flat unsensitive! chest. underpants bed, miss playing himself. rubbing faster faster, sigh, glanced go me, wall pace his!. admit doing myself, outside underpants. suddenly, groaned flopping bed. great gobs semen flying penis, me! splattered closet oozed globs slats. stopped stared. rolled still. petrified! fell asleep? how closet? minute bathroom. run giggling way. apparently, scooped jizz word way safely offered some. something like, yuck! time! smelled clorox, taste anything, fishy. mostly slimey-slippery. years later: july 1976 party! event occurred during summer, ordinarily diary, these are words new diary year. masterpiece non-information. need refresher details, however. events vividly. this known circle party. enter grade, husky eleven old. party backyard hired junior, becoming hero heartthrob, lifeguard. felt leave otherwise unchaperoned, know, blithely good-bye drove volvo. driveway minutes teammates wheeled dressed cut-offs jerseys. heaven. scene, dear reader, this: studs... soon-to-be girls. mr. chaos theory jeremy. being nice, throwing football, chatting sometimes music stereo. disco beegees stayin alive. suddenly surfaced thorson bottoms! apparently dived, opportunist, somehow completely swimming waiving prize air. realize uncooperative loss may herself handed regular strawberry-blonde viking goddess, considerably poor churning caught steps. bushes beside yanked swim head reach. retrieved bottoms, bringing when, blaam literally flash air, parallel, sexually charged, dimension! language lewd. little, late, decided better try restore order. instead retrieving suit, yelled suit. tongue them! us, included, cheering hesitated, issued ultimate teenage challenge calling brother chicken. first, landed succeeded dislodging s! randall, edge naked jaybird, ran suzie. he, bathingsuit, suzie, strings collapsed dying parachute. thinking, weren friends undeveloped was? meanwhile! brad. speedo practically tore naturally lot grabbing shoving lost various parts suits called towels nobody interested helping climbed himself... starkers noticed tan accentuated whiteness bum... been guys guffawing poking other. towel amazement stood straight proudly said, mature, pubic hair darker strawberry blonde mop, thought humongous breasts. arms towel. nestled sweetly under arm, went, arm shoulder gather hers, disappeared house! atmosphere heavily charged adolescent excitement, again! down, covered bikinis, boogying music, relieve tension. soon, wiggling fanny daryll johnston pretending bra, clasped front. clapping rhythm, showing sewell suggested beauty contest, dance, award prizes. okay chaises where, no doubt, visions roman orgies danced heads. butt steve halford onto lap. since recognize couch tommy. wearing bikini, straddled chaise, wide squat quite bit, course. kind swayed above teasing. lap, straddling there. things definitely hand! darryll holding kiss bending katie halberson yelped. pulling volvo! damn! lord knows hadn did! scrambled most adjustments clothing sheepish. mrs. quick survey, asked brad? pointed house held breath. pregnant silence speak minutes, banging doors, driving driveway. inside house, know. outside, talking. omerta, code silence, ruled. learn, according embarrassed ride home, curb house. night, promised word, allowed certain privileges. allow privilege living shut. reminded all. can tell popular is, thirteen months later. often competition invariably won. fourteen, tall. summer next, grew inches. beginning giraffe period, spindly thin arms, neck. other full bloom, technically virgin, experienced i. talked incessantly read lady chatterly lover peyton except kissing mild petting clumsy totally knowledge. of a in s as sexual is fourteen judy, why interesting, do children parents in, getting damn previous an older developed bum. team. home close moved toward open managed without place heard take eventually door tossing going put while good sitting tried away there, stared her, kept around, altogether meanwhile, lying september let against used less same between both out, said maybe next although first entry don became six plus jeremy, major never waved five three up, four actually dancing shallow threw bottoms trunks too least stuck told linda. bathingsuit suzie pulled front any several too. himself each it. walked fully suit think dance face, tommy where turn, happened did dr. she brad we it from wanted much time pretty be remember only him, boys, back went room after sat could two very mouth, school around moving top even there like bikini than pool, jumped jameison her one so if us little got off they boys him my for but was judy on at that he and were with had ever see me. you because . year by legs, mission before came closet, end, seemed lay feet probably old mouth her. taken and, slipped nearly looking give d say will right almost again, girls, pool. jameisons brad, who high grade him. however, rest grabbed linda, wrapped still to his didn or all made come them began then t into hand i me which course, it, eighth get football long our would have looked keep not more what pool their out some about started down over jeremy when up just linda